X. What's Chemo Like?

People ask me all the time "what's chemo like?". For me, there's no short answer to that. I have definitely said this before, but I think it's important enough to reiterate - every person responds differently to chemotherapy. Everyone's body is different and therefore no one-person will have the same experience (side effects/symptoms) as someone else. That being said, it is definitely possible to have similar experiences! Here are a few of mine :)

Most of my symptoms began two to four days after receiving my infusion. So like I said, I received ABVD every other Friday for a total of 8 treatments. The night after treatment I would feel really exhausted. Like I mentioned in my "ABVD" post, I would get home, immediately put my pj's on and snuggle into bed. I was very fortunate to have "my nurses" (AKA Mom, Dad and Tom) working around-the-clock to provide me with THE BEST care! The first half of treatment (infusions one through four) were definitely much worse in terms of side effects than five through eight. The fatigue at the beginning was indescribable. Simple daily tasks that I had once done with such ease seemed impossible. For example, showering was an absolute fiasco. My body was so weak that even the thought of standing in the shower made me tired. So, because of this, my mom prepped the shower with everything I needed, helped me into it, and then added a stool so I could sit rather than stand. Shout-out to my mom for being the real MVP.

But truly. The days following chemo, my family worked like a well-oiled machine to help me feel as comfortable as possible. My dad became my water boy and part-time chef; making sure I was always well hydrated and fed. Tom, was in charge of my medication schedule, as well as dropping everything to satisfying my chemo cravings (fast food cravings were REAL). It truly took a village.

In addition to fatigue, I also experienced widespread muscle aches (most noticeably in my legs). What helped this the most was stretching and walking (which wasn't exactly what I wanted to be doing a few days after chemo). So when I wasn't sleeping, I was trying my best to keep my body moving; whether it was taking a quick walk to the mail box or taking my dog outside. Oh, baths also helped a lot! Specifically baking soda and Epsom salt baths (I'll talk a bit more about this in my next few posts).

Another side effect that was probably the most unusual of all was what my family referred to as the "chemo blues". This occurred like clock-work after my Friday infusions. Like I mentioned in a few of my previous posts, chemotherapy takes a toll on not just your physical health, but also your mental and emotional well-being. The night after receiving chemo I would find it extremely difficult to regulate my emotions. The sun would go down, I would settle in for the night, and then BAM! It would all hit me. Sometimes I would experience an overwhelming feeling of happiness, other times I would feel an unbearable amount of pain and depression. Whatever the emotion was that I was feeling, it often resulted in tears.

Chemo is toxic. It's necessary in order to help us overcome the disease, but it is so so toxic to our system. I realized that once I cried (either happy or sad tears) I instantly felt SO much relief. I think it was my body's way of expelling some of the toxicity and coping during this crazy time. If you are going through chemotherapy and are struggling with your mental health, I would highly encourage you to seek out help from a professional, whether it be a social worker, psychologist, counselor, etc. During my time at Dana Farber, I had the pleasure of working with a wonderful social worker who helped me further understand my emotions, as well as identify strategies that I could implement to help with anxiety during treatment.

I'm going to end this post here before it gets too long, but this is just the beginning of some of the symptoms that I experienced during ABVD chemo (trust me, there's more where that came from!). I'll be talking about the rest of them in my next post.

Stay tuned :)